Wanted to note another Dream just for the sake of sharing it with friends. I am pretty sure I know what it means. Add this to the prophetic pile because I had this the weekend after the SS incident.
I am standing in some sort of Voudon shop. The dream opens with this little black kid running into the shop from the field with the severed finger. He hands it to me. The old black man behind the counter of the shop said, "Give it here, [you should] use it for protection." He takes a pot of soil from the counter behind him. I hand him the severed finger (which is almost black), which he then buries in the pot. Then he pulls out "moon flower" bulbs and begins planting them in the soil. Finally, he hands the pot back to me. I've also taken a book (about Voodoo I'm pretty sure) off the shelf and he tells me to take it. I remember looking up and seeing the sky. The shop was really bright and had sky lights. It was more like an apothecary/greenhouse.
That's when the psychic woman came up to me and said, "You've been involved [in the occult] since you were twelve!" and backed away from me as if I'd just sprouted a second head.
For my friends who read this - I know how I see this dream and have already interpreted it and warned the effected parties. I'm betting you have some ideas about it, too. Feel free to e-mail or PM me about your thoughts on the matter.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Don't Laugh At Me Because I'm Psychic
Seriously, it's not funny. ::hides a snarky grin::
So my last dream was actually quite prophetic believe it or not. It was warning me about an online acquaintance's spouse causing strife between me and the online acquaintance. Both of whom decided it would be best if they got off my playground. I couldn't have agreed more. So in actuality - it was a good thing and I think it was time for it. It was a long time coming. Long story short, the online acquaintance wasn't happy with my decision to stay out of an argument between him and one of my long time, real-world friends. Because I wouldn't choose sides (I just wanted to stay out of it), bend to his will and kick my other friend out of my life -- I was the dirty bitch and it was all my fault. LOL! Go figure.
I guess Selinda was right. Having a scapegoat (especially one in the spotlight) is all the rage these days. From "Satan made me do it!" to "Obama is ruining this country." I guess it's not surprising to see "Ain Soph is a big meanie bitch who is controlling and judgemental! " [TRANSLATION: I can't get her to do what I want and curb my insecurities by siding with me.]
since I'm more accessible than both Satan and Obama.
Now don't get too excited. My real friends are still my friends and another two online acquaintances have already stepped up and filled the place of the one who left. ::shrug:: So many people have this strange fantasy that friendships (whether real or imagined) are somehow permanent. Or should be. I don't see anything as being permanent. It's all in a state of flux.
Look, I'm a huge believer that people come and go from our lives as our (and their) needs dictate. So I don't take it personally when it's time to end a friendship -- any friendship whether it be online, superficial, or everyday friends. I know that sounds cold, but really I think this is an attitude that's quite spiritually freeing. It's not that you don't care or that you're immune to emotions or hurt feelings, it's just that you learn to accept what is and realize that you have the power to change it if you truly want to. A lot of it has to do with knowing your Self and what your true will is. If I wanted to keep these friendships I easily could have, by groveling or compromising my position or trying to make everyone and their mother happy. Problem is I can't easily lay back and let others tread on me and I'm certainly never going to make everyone happy. Never have been able to do that. I've never been able to compromise what I truly believe either. And I'm not choosing between friends (over something really dumb) and I think it's horrible for anyone to expect that.
I live by the motto "Lead, follow, or get the hell out of my way." And since I'm not much of a sheep, I'm not easily lead. So the alternatives remain that people can walk beside me as my friends, follow me (which actually annoys me) or get the hell out of my way. Which really cuts it down to two.
Stand beside me or get the hell out of the way. ::rolls eyes::
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm just a bitch. Well, truth be known I'm busy worrying about MY life and what I'm doing. My REAL friends worry about their lives and what they're doing and don't make me responsible for their happiness or their insecurities. If their lives revolved around me - we'd have a serious problem. Any person's life should revolve around THEMSELVES. Of course our heavily Abrahamic influenced society has taught us that this is selfish. But really - it's not.
Allowing your life to revolve around others is what we call dependency. Needing others' lives to revolve around yours is also dependency. True independence is worrying about yourself and not needing other people to grow. If everyone worried about themselves and didn't need others to constantly pay attention to them -- the world would be a much nicer place. Wouldn't it?
But I'm also realistic and realize that most people will stay stuck in dependent relationships much of their lives because they're not able to rise above ego or their need for emotional hand-holding. Even I am merely "practicing" when it comes to rising above ego or trying not to make other people responsible for my emotions.
Now onto my most recent dream. I've discovered the dreams that are prophetic have a certain quality to them. A certain feeling I leave the dream with and carry with me throughout the day. As it so happens I had another one of these dreams last night. This time warning me of something going awry in my writing life. It should happen within the week, but I'm expecting it, so no matter what it is, I have a plan to fix any issues that may arise.
Ask my parents how I've always been an obsessive planner and one who has a backup plan no matter what. I think things to death, and *that* my friends is in part why I am so successful in everything I do. Never got caught partying or going out with boys when I was younger. Point being that no matter what happens, if Lulu goes under tomorrow - I have a backup plan. If that agent rejects the mystery novel, I have a backup plan. I may not elude to it or share my plans with everyone, but the plans are always there.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
An Interesting Dream...
...Makes for interesting work.
So last night I have this dream that I am in a restaurant (like a Denny's or Villiage Inn) with all my friends. Dimitri and Anya are there along with her friend (I can't remember her name right now - but I think of Delepitorae and Seshat when I see her). I leave to go to the register to pay for my coffee and ask why I haven't gotten it yet.
I get back to the table and everyone has left. Anya's friend is standing by the door waiting for me. I wake up before I can speak with her.
Something is up. This dream very much feels like the one I had with Tezrian and Unsere. I think I'll add some of my own questions to the next channeling session. See if I can get some definative answers and confirm what I suspect.
It is folly to assume one's enemy is blind, deaf, or inept.
So last night I have this dream that I am in a restaurant (like a Denny's or Villiage Inn) with all my friends. Dimitri and Anya are there along with her friend (I can't remember her name right now - but I think of Delepitorae and Seshat when I see her). I leave to go to the register to pay for my coffee and ask why I haven't gotten it yet.
I get back to the table and everyone has left. Anya's friend is standing by the door waiting for me. I wake up before I can speak with her.
Something is up. This dream very much feels like the one I had with Tezrian and Unsere. I think I'll add some of my own questions to the next channeling session. See if I can get some definative answers and confirm what I suspect.
It is folly to assume one's enemy is blind, deaf, or inept.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Soft Polytheist Pantheist
A few people have asked me how I view the Daemonic. It's interesting you ask because while there are hard polytheist Demonolater's out there, I'm not one of them and the people I tend to associate with aren't either.
If you're a Hard Polytheist it means you believe in your deities as actual beings, oftentimes with anthropomorphization. Many (not all) educated Hard Polytheists tend to take issue with mixing hierarchies or pantheons simply because they feel it diminishes their brand of reconstructed neo-Paganism and somehow invalidates the traditions of any one culture. Not all Hard Poly's are like this, but I've met many who are. I've even been lectured by a few, until I told them I wasn't a Hard Polytheist and therefore their idea of keeping pantheons pure didn't apply to me. :)
If you're a Soft Polytheist (which I am), you believe that while your deities may have an individual energy or even a form of individual sentience, they are all part of the one or "the whole". This means you can mix pantheons of Gods quite effectively without any ill effects or "fighting Gods" between hierarchies or pantheons. After all - if Gods have human-like personalities, those personalities have the potential to conflict.
If you're a Pantheist, Deity is the natural universe. Generally people aren't Hard Poly Pantheists because these are contradictory viewpoints and don't work well together. Not all Soft Poly's are Pantheists either. But I am.
This also means my approach to my religion is very practical and down to earth. While I acknowledge that there is something bigger than us out there and that it has some form of sentience beyond our understanding, I also believe that it can be measured (because we've measured it and we can also see it! i.e. the universe!). I also believe in ghosts and I believe that magick works through a complex psychological and quantum molecular process. My beliefs are not based in "faith" mind you. Faith is one of those things where proof doesn't matter. I am not so trusting of the universe (or other people for that matter) and I DO NOT believe faith is required for one to be a spiritual person. I expect proof. Show me. And in practicing Daemonolatry I have been shown. While I wish I had cameras rolling or recorders going to catch evidence of my experiences so that I could share this experience with others -- I didn't.
So the proof, for me, that not only my Daemons are real but also that there is life after death, a spirit plane, and much more beyond our limited physical reality comes from my own actual life experiences. No faith or wishing required.
And since my spiritual wholeness or personal transcendence doesn't depend on the belief of others I feel no need to prove myself to the naysayers or to convert others to my way of thinking. Never have. You either find your connection with all that is in this life - or you don't. Not everyone is spiritual and needs that. And guess what? That's okay. Not to mention that not everyone has the same spiritual path. IMHO, all paths have the potential to lead to Deity.
This is where I think the Abrahamic faiths have failed miserably. They are so concerned that everyone believes like they do that a lot of those "would be" spiritual seekers among them get lost in a sea of condemnation and spreading the word and forget to really, deeply cultivate a spiritual bond with the God of their understanding. Sadly there are those in my own family who have fallen prey to this. I find it somewhat bizarre. At the same time, as long as their beliefs don't infringe on mine or negatively impact me or those I love, I don't care what they believe.
I am tolerant of other beliefs. Tolerance doesn't mean acceptance. It means tolerance. For those who think I'm merely mincing semantics -- I have an English degree. What did you expect? Words have universal meanings to all who speak the same language. We have books that give us those meanings. They're called dictionaries. ;-)
So that's my view of the Daemonic plus some additional information to give you a small slice of how I view religion, magick, and spirituality. Thanks for asking and come again! :)
If you're a Hard Polytheist it means you believe in your deities as actual beings, oftentimes with anthropomorphization. Many (not all) educated Hard Polytheists tend to take issue with mixing hierarchies or pantheons simply because they feel it diminishes their brand of reconstructed neo-Paganism and somehow invalidates the traditions of any one culture. Not all Hard Poly's are like this, but I've met many who are. I've even been lectured by a few, until I told them I wasn't a Hard Polytheist and therefore their idea of keeping pantheons pure didn't apply to me. :)
If you're a Soft Polytheist (which I am), you believe that while your deities may have an individual energy or even a form of individual sentience, they are all part of the one or "the whole". This means you can mix pantheons of Gods quite effectively without any ill effects or "fighting Gods" between hierarchies or pantheons. After all - if Gods have human-like personalities, those personalities have the potential to conflict.
If you're a Pantheist, Deity is the natural universe. Generally people aren't Hard Poly Pantheists because these are contradictory viewpoints and don't work well together. Not all Soft Poly's are Pantheists either. But I am.
This also means my approach to my religion is very practical and down to earth. While I acknowledge that there is something bigger than us out there and that it has some form of sentience beyond our understanding, I also believe that it can be measured (because we've measured it and we can also see it! i.e. the universe!). I also believe in ghosts and I believe that magick works through a complex psychological and quantum molecular process. My beliefs are not based in "faith" mind you. Faith is one of those things where proof doesn't matter. I am not so trusting of the universe (or other people for that matter) and I DO NOT believe faith is required for one to be a spiritual person. I expect proof. Show me. And in practicing Daemonolatry I have been shown. While I wish I had cameras rolling or recorders going to catch evidence of my experiences so that I could share this experience with others -- I didn't.
So the proof, for me, that not only my Daemons are real but also that there is life after death, a spirit plane, and much more beyond our limited physical reality comes from my own actual life experiences. No faith or wishing required.
And since my spiritual wholeness or personal transcendence doesn't depend on the belief of others I feel no need to prove myself to the naysayers or to convert others to my way of thinking. Never have. You either find your connection with all that is in this life - or you don't. Not everyone is spiritual and needs that. And guess what? That's okay. Not to mention that not everyone has the same spiritual path. IMHO, all paths have the potential to lead to Deity.
This is where I think the Abrahamic faiths have failed miserably. They are so concerned that everyone believes like they do that a lot of those "would be" spiritual seekers among them get lost in a sea of condemnation and spreading the word and forget to really, deeply cultivate a spiritual bond with the God of their understanding. Sadly there are those in my own family who have fallen prey to this. I find it somewhat bizarre. At the same time, as long as their beliefs don't infringe on mine or negatively impact me or those I love, I don't care what they believe.
I am tolerant of other beliefs. Tolerance doesn't mean acceptance. It means tolerance. For those who think I'm merely mincing semantics -- I have an English degree. What did you expect? Words have universal meanings to all who speak the same language. We have books that give us those meanings. They're called dictionaries. ;-)
So that's my view of the Daemonic plus some additional information to give you a small slice of how I view religion, magick, and spirituality. Thanks for asking and come again! :)
Monday, January 4, 2010
A New Year - A Ptah Me
I am the embodiment of Ptah resplendent. I am the muse of Atem.
Just when I thought I was at a stalemate last November 2008, December 2008 came and I took my RoMF. In 2009 I spent a great deal of time working on GO ceremonies and methods by which to pull everything into one driving force. I finally did it. I performed PoP in preparation of the coming of Khemenu and Seshat. I am honestly really digging the Khemetic Daemonolatry right now. I was "raised" with the Canaanite branch and while it will always be my foundation, the Khemetic calls to me.
I am drenched in the creative splendor of Ptah!
Of Thoth and Seshat who bore Delepitorae
The Heka of Ptah brought them into being
The first magick was that.
I am not she, I AM THE.
Heka was THE WORD and THE WORD was Sacred.
Some folks and I are talking about writing an entire book about Modified Grimoiric Magick. It's just flowing, seriously. The Big Book of Modified Grimoiric Magick For Daemonolaters? It's happening. Along with Daemonolatry Goetia (which is almost done folks!!!) and The Daemonolater's Guide to Modified Ritual (a whole miscellany of popular Thelemic and GD rituals, among others, modified for Daemonolatry). Stuff like MPR and LBRP etc...
More later - gotta run! :)
Just when I thought I was at a stalemate last November 2008, December 2008 came and I took my RoMF. In 2009 I spent a great deal of time working on GO ceremonies and methods by which to pull everything into one driving force. I finally did it. I performed PoP in preparation of the coming of Khemenu and Seshat. I am honestly really digging the Khemetic Daemonolatry right now. I was "raised" with the Canaanite branch and while it will always be my foundation, the Khemetic calls to me.
I am drenched in the creative splendor of Ptah!
Of Thoth and Seshat who bore Delepitorae
The Heka of Ptah brought them into being
The first magick was that.
I am not she, I AM THE.
Heka was THE WORD and THE WORD was Sacred.
Some folks and I are talking about writing an entire book about Modified Grimoiric Magick. It's just flowing, seriously. The Big Book of Modified Grimoiric Magick For Daemonolaters? It's happening. Along with Daemonolatry Goetia (which is almost done folks!!!) and The Daemonolater's Guide to Modified Ritual (a whole miscellany of popular Thelemic and GD rituals, among others, modified for Daemonolatry). Stuff like MPR and LBRP etc...
More later - gotta run! :)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
End of Year Rites
A lot of people have been discussing their end-of-year rituals. This year I'm doing a Rite of Renewal and taking my PoP! I think I'm finally ready for that ceremony. Took me long enough. Then I move on to working toward taking Khemenu and Seshat in 2010.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Hope Your Solstice Was Bright!
I hope all my readers had a beautiful Solstice/Yule/Saturnalia/Rite to Belial/Festival of Lights or whatever your holiday was this year. For those of you who celebrate a secular Christmas (as I doubt I have Christians reading this blog), hope you have a beautiful day tomorrow. Enjoy your family and friends.
While I'll miss 2009, I am looking forward to 2010 and all the beauty and splendor life will have to offer in the coming year. It's not just life. It's not just a series of moments. It's an adventure.
For the OFS Sunday Coffee 2010 (to which Pagan friends of all ilk are invited, not just Daemonolaters) I have a few fun things planned. For those of you who have signed up for alerts, you'll get your invitations via SMS, FB, or e-mail. I am going to schedule another viewing of RoM just because there were a few folks who missed it and who really wanted to see it (B, L, J, M). I'd also like to schedule viewings of What the Bleep and SM. Maybe do an incense making (real sticks and cones, which means we get to work with explosive materials - yikes!) Sunday sometime this spring or summer. That would be fun and educational. But like I said - I'm open to ideas. If you have any suggestions for the educational coffee gatherings, let me know! Someone suggested amulet making. That could be interesting as well.
While I'll miss 2009, I am looking forward to 2010 and all the beauty and splendor life will have to offer in the coming year. It's not just life. It's not just a series of moments. It's an adventure.
For the OFS Sunday Coffee 2010 (to which Pagan friends of all ilk are invited, not just Daemonolaters) I have a few fun things planned. For those of you who have signed up for alerts, you'll get your invitations via SMS, FB, or e-mail. I am going to schedule another viewing of RoM just because there were a few folks who missed it and who really wanted to see it (B, L, J, M). I'd also like to schedule viewings of What the Bleep and SM. Maybe do an incense making (real sticks and cones, which means we get to work with explosive materials - yikes!) Sunday sometime this spring or summer. That would be fun and educational. But like I said - I'm open to ideas. If you have any suggestions for the educational coffee gatherings, let me know! Someone suggested amulet making. That could be interesting as well.
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